i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
