You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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