your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if only i could text you this smell
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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