She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
