My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
