So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
