You're so nebulous sometimes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
