i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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