dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
