just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
