Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
