I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
