I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
