It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
