I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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