remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
