you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
