It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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