fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
