i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
