I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
