We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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