Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
