the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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