I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
