i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
