Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
