Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize