I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
