I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
