that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
