i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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