Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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