dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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