I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
