We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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