Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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