So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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