Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
