Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
