is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
