How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize