You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she smelled like a LAN party
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
