So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize