he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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