Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
