all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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