the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
