3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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