Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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