Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
