seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
