Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
