So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
