Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
