What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
