Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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