I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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