Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
