we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
FUCK WHALES
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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